Random Bludgeonings

You know, I never got the latest Helmet CD, Monochrome.. Not sure why... honestly, what I heard off of it didn't impress me. I guess I should pony up for a used copy at some point.

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I remember 20 years ago all the buzz about guitar synthesizers, and how they were just on the cusp of making a guitar that would actually operate a synthesizer. It never really took off, and now it turns out we may have been barking up the wrong tree. We don't want our guitars to be synths; we want them to be guitars--LOTS of guitars.

Part of me wants to be firmly opposed to the very existence of the Fender VG Stratocaster, one of those digital modeling gizmos that's become so hot in recent years. I own a modeling amplifier, Toland does too, and my brother-in-law does too. But something about taking a Strat and putting 37 different sounds in it... Man, if you want a Strat buy a Strat, right?

But... I've seen this guitar for about $1600, and there's also a part of me that thinks it's potentially a good investment. I can tell you from experience that digital modeling sounds terrific. I'm altogether pleased with my Cyber-Deluxe (which I don't see on Fender's website now--have they stopped producing it?).

Of course, Fender's only gearing their guitars to sound like Fender guitars, so they're not throwing in, say, Les Paul or Rickenbacher sounds. I can understand that. Of course, that's not a self-imposed limitation of, say, Line 6's Variax models

I'd love to have a Les Paul, but my creaky back isn't into wearing a 14-pound instrument.

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Speaking of bludgeoning one's ears, I got my hearing checked this morning. MOBB had been at the audiologist's office for testing related to her ongoing vertigo problems, and I decided to make an appointment. It's my 4th test in about the last 15 years, just to make sure I don't have degenerative hearing loss.

It's about the same as it was in my last test, though my right ear is definitely losing the ability to pick up 1 kilohertz sounds. That's usually an indicator of early degenerative hearing loss, but at this point I don't need an aid.

I just need to TURN IT UP, MAN!

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"Hey man, is that Freedom Rock?"

"Yeah man!"

"Well turn it up, man!"

(Hit me back if you have any idea what the hell I'm talking about.)

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You're in a public restroom in Target. It's you and a young man, a heavyset guy. As you're leaving the sink, he turns to face you, looks right, looks left, then says, "Give me your wallet."

He's produced no weapon. What do you do?

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I ask because something similar happened to me yesterday, only he didn't say a thing. He clearly scoped out the place to see that we were alone. He looked at me and... nothing. I kept walking. Probably nothing.

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Happy Thursday.