Phone thing #1: This damn phone of mine is trouble. It calls people from my pants. Yep.
Maybe you've had this happen, back in the days before you knew how to lock your keypad perhaps.
Me, I'm certain this is due to the blue tooth earpiece gizmo I often have in my pocket with my phone. One big, rectangular button on the thing, but if you hit the button just right it'll do a few different things.
Several weeks ago I learned from Whit that it had called him, from my pants, as I talked to a client down in Johnson county. Fortunately neither the client nor I could hear the tirade Whit unleashed, funny though it probably was.
***
You may know that many schools use a color system to rate a kid's behavior each day. THEBOY comes home and tells me he's had a green (no reprimands), yellow (some reprimands), or red (uh.... some MORE reprimands) day. I gather there are colors above and beyond red, but he's not ventured that high.
I cut him plenty of slack, I do. He's a born lecturer, okay, often waking up in the morning telling me about how the earth actually rotates on its side even before he says good morning or takes a pee. He talks non-stop. Talk talk talk talk talk.
So mostly when he gets some color other than green it's due to talking. I can only imagine what it's like to be another six-year-old, listening to him talk in detail about his most recent exploits playing Nanosaur (a computer game).
"And then I hit the jet pack and went pppssssshhhhew! but there was a long neck--that's a brontosaurus--and I killed him with the special webbon [note: gotta work on teaching that kid to pronounce "weapon"] that makes everything look waaaaaavy and they fall down and 'rrrrrrrrooooooossssshhhhhh' and you don't have to kill them but I like to. But I like it when I miss them and catch trees on fire. Sometimes it helps you find the eggs..."
And the other kids probably rat him out just for a moment's peace.
***
Phone thing #2: I was down in Granbury today, having a fine club sandwich in a little eatery on highway 377. The cashier who rang me out was cute, and I was feeling chatty.
So I noticed her cell phone on the counter, and told her I had the same kind, and how I love taking photos with it and checking email and stuff.
She said she likes hers too, "but the other day when I dropped it in the parking lot at my high school the screen went blank..."
High school? Ouch.
I swear, she looked older.
Don't look at me like that.
***
Yeah, so the other day THEBOY came home from school and reported that he'd had a yellow day. I asked him why.
He explained very clearly (and that's not always the case) that in class, there are three (3) positions allowable for sitting in one's chair. He'd been busted for sitting in a different position.
HE
IS
SIX!
I told him that as far as I'm concerned he was in no trouble with me. Seriously, is this worth their breath? Let me repeat this: HE IS SIX. If they think there is anything to be gained by attempting to make him sit in one of only three positions all day, they can just knock themselves out. I'll bring them some more yellow markers, because theirs are gonna dry up.
Shoot, at that age sitting at a desk is a very unnatural thing anyway. I'd suggest they pick their battles, and chuck this one out the window.
***
I mean seriously, you should see this kid when he's on the couch at home. It's like he's having a Judo match with an invisible foe, and losing. Constant motion. Relaxing wears that kid out.
***
Phone thing #3: As I returned to work today, my boss informed me that I'd called her.
Hoo boy.
She heard wind whooshing by, road noise, the radio... and yours truly, singing a passionate "Tears of a Clown" along with Smokey Robinson.
I had to laugh.
***
And now I must find a hammer and smash this gizmo.
***
I'm sore. Sore sore sore. And it's Whit's fault. Please, go beat him up.
***
More crying on The Ultimate Fighter last night. What, is Kleenex a sponsor? Holy crap what an emotional bunch of little psychos those 155 pounders are.
***
Ya'll have a good weekend.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
At least your boss did not hear any bodily noises!
A.
First, the phone thing. It's not your phone that is calling people, it's your pants!
Secondly, the sitting positions at school. I am happy to report that even in 2nd grade at my son's elementary school, kids can sit comfortably however they want. And I've never heard of color coded behavior days...only for terrorism.
Thirdly, the club sandwich clerk. Uh, I'd love to pass judgment, but I'd be a hypocrite. "I swear she looked 19, officer." Kidding...that was a dramatic re-enactment of a fictional situation there.
Jeff P. - deep in the Midwest. Maybe you'd even call it "The Great Lakes Region"
We had a color system in my second grade class. I cried the day I got my color switched to yellow for looking at my friend too much. That was probably the worst year of my life. The same teacher had green eggs and ham day and embarrassed me in front of the whole class until I ate it, after I told her I didn't want to eat it (pork). The same teacher called numerous parent-teacher conferences with my mom because she thought I wrote too many of my daily journals about my kitten (like a 6-year-old has a whole lot going on in life). And she also accused me of stealing a book, which I didn't, and then called a conference with me and my mom to tell my mom that I was a thief and a liar. That year scarred me for life...
I had some point I was planning to make with that story, but now I'm just pissed at my 2nd grade teacher....Damn you Mrs. Osborne!
Post a Comment