BB's Most Expensive Wish List Ever

Here is the wish list that can’t be filled. My entire life I have been blessed with endless riches, it seems, for birthdays and Christmases. Even in the years when I had few ideas, it seems like the people who are special to me had them.

I’m just going to have some fun here. I struggle with the notion of materialism, sure. The cause of suffering is desire, right? End desire, you end suffering.

Well, I’m not the bodhisattva-in-training today. I’m the guy who wishes he had a buncha money, so he could buy:

A Paul Reed Smith McCarty II model. I’ve never even laid hands on one, but as long as I’m wishin’ for just whatever, why not get a hand-crafted guitar that costs two grand or so? And in this hard-tail model only please.

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Barring that, I’ll take a Carvin Bolt-T kit. I have a fine little Epiphone Les Paul, but for a variety of reasons I have learned that I prefer a Strat-style guitar. I’d like to build the one with the black hardware upgrade and the bridge humbucker with the coil splitter. And again, hard-tail only.

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I’d also like an Ebow.

It’s a little hand-held gizmo that looks kind of like a travel-size stapler. It creates some sort of magnetic field that vibrates the string for as long as you hold it there. The result? Endless sustain, and violin-like tones. I think the Edge has used this to good effect here and there. It’s pretty nifty, but it’s not $100 nifty.

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Okay, let’s get just a little crazy here. I’ve told a few of you that if I won the lottery, I’d sure as heck get me a lowrider.

Go ahead and laugh. Many of you (okay, ALL of you) reacted by saying, “I won’t be riding in that thing with you!”

But man, they’re just so cool and ingenious. I’d have to hire someone who knows how to take care of it too though.

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Or heck, just give me a 1966 Ford Thunderbird.


(Great color!)

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I’d like to have a lap steel as well.

This is an instrument that makes sense to me, unlike pedal steel, which was apparently designed for only Stephen Hawking to understand.

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And I’m tired of wires. I want to go wireless in my house so I can just walk around and play my McCarty II. I mean, why shouldn’t I be able to, say, see how my kids’ bath is coming along while playing “Limelight” by Rush?

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I’d also like the newest generation of multi-track recorder and a good mic and some monitors.

And…

And…

A whole tub of Slim Jims.

(Okay, just kidding).

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Okay, what crazy/frivolous/expensive/unnecessary thing would you like to have for Christmas? The kind of thing that you might only get if you had a sugar daddy named Bill Gates, you know?