Lines

I was born on August 29, 1968. To some people, that would seem like a long time ago. To others, not so much. I feel different ways on different days.

I wish I could see some sort of a graphic of my life. Maybe a map or a globe. Something showing a line of where I've gone in my almost 42 years. Zipping around Texas, occasionally across the nation or even the globe.

***

THEGIRL found a packet of herb seeds a couple weeks ago. We made a little row in the dirt outside my apartment and planted them. We're slowly starting to see little plants emerge. I hope they're herbs, but they could turn out to be weeds.



So the lovely Miss Renee' gave her a few more seed packets: cucumbers, and three types of squash.

We borrowed ex-wife's hoe, raked out as many rocks as we could, and made a stab at creating a little garden. I mixed in a little potting soil, but I really don't know if we'll end up with any veggies out of this. It'll be fun trying though.

***

I had a whim to watch the trains go by yesterday. I dropped off the kids and headed over to the Hurst Bell train stop, where I spent so many mornings awaiting my ride to my job for Belo. Five years after I left that place, the line takes me back to that train stop.

I really didn't know what led me there. Still don't. But I figured I'd sit on a bench and watch one or two trains come and go.

I arrived between trains, with none due any time soon as far as I could tell. It was a cool, comfortable morning though, so I didn't mind sitting there, doing a bunch of nothing.

Suddenly I caught a glimpse of that telltale light. A train was coming. That stop is right next to a railroad crossing, and soon the arms came down and the bells rang.

And--ZOOM! The train blew through there at maybe 60 miles per hour, not even slowing down. The wind gust nearly blew my ball cap off, and I just had to laugh.

I left.

***

I watched the movie High Fidelity again for the first time in quite a while. Many people who saw that back in the day commented on how much Rob, the main character, is like me. I believed it.

Watching it again, though, I was struck differently. I was once like that, but I'm not anymore. There's an undercurrent of anger and doubt in that character which I no longer have.

It still made me howl with laughter here and there.

***

Racing thoughts plague some people while they're trying to sleep. I've certainly dealt with them myself. I used to try to draw an infinity sign in my head over and over to combat this, and it helped.

Racing thoughts seem to be sort of scattershot to me, even if they're connected. It's like trying to sleep during a fireworks show. I think too many parts of the brain are being lit up to relax and ease into slumber. I decided to create an exercise that is focused and linear.

The infinity sign seemed too simple, frankly. People come to a counselor with pretty lofty expectations, and a short answer to a nagging problem isn't received so well.

("Stop it! That'll be five dollars...")

So, I tell them to imagine that the pharaoh has died, and that they've been tasked to wrap the mummy. Using one piece of gauze, they are to imagine how they'd wrap the mummy, head to toe. And once they're done, they realized they've omitted something, so they have to unwrap him, following the same route. And so on.

Some come back to me saying this was a big help, and some politely tell me I'm nuts.

***

I draw fewer lines in the sand these days, but they're deeper.

***

Y'all take care.