Aristotle and the Balloon Guy

We'd been inside all day, and that's why I didn't balk--much--when THEBOY suggested we hit Rainforest Cafe for lunch.

Have you been to one? It's one of those crazy places where you just bleed money. I was starving, and that's not a good setup for a place where you put your name on a list so you can wait for 40 minutes for the priviledge of being admitted to the line at the restaurant entrance...

And somehow you end up saying crazy things to your kids once inside, like "I'm not going to give you any more of my potato chips until you eat more of your pizza."

The kids love it though, and we seriously needed to get out of the house. The Rainforest Cafe gods were kind, so we only waited 20 minutes.

***

Aristotle believed that the virtue called "goodness" is not something we're born with. He believed it takes practice. Goodness is achieved through repetition of virtuous acts.

***

So I won't say that it was good, per se, that I walked in there with no cash. Considering the nature of the place, I'd say it was remiss of me to have not even a quarter in my pocket.

***

THEBOY spied Balloon Guy as he worked a table over from us. "I want a Spider-man!" he said.

Hmmm, I thought.

Balloon Guy came over and asked if we'd like something. I was up-front with him: "I didn't bring any cash. What does it cost?"

"Just a tip," he replied. "There's an ATM somewhere in the mall."

"Well, that does me no good right now," I said (seeing as how I was seated to have lunch and all).

Balloon Guy stepped back and started scanning the room for other kid-occupied tables as THEBOY repeated to him, "I want a balloon! I want a balloon!"

It was like we were suddenly invisible. He walked off.

***

Now, again, I wish I'd had cash. I believe in tipping, and tipping well. Ask any server of mine.

But for Balloon Guy, who was working for tips, to be so completely incapable of... largesse? A freebie? Feelings? Man, it was kinda heartbreaking. For 60 seconds of squeaky twisting and sloppy Sharpie shenanigans, he was regularly getting $3-$5 from the other tables from what I could tell.

Me, I had to apologize to my kid because Balloon Guy didn't want to part with a five-cent balloon.

***

Aristotle would not believe that Balloon Guy was good or virtuous.

BB believes that Balloon Guy was an asshole.

***

As THEBOY told me in frustration that I should have brought some money, I went ahead and told him: Balloon Guy could do it for free if he wanted to, because the balloons don't cost anything. He just didn't want to because I had no tip money. I'm not sure if THEBOY understood.

***

He passed by again, and both kids turned around and peered through the fake plants at him as he snagged another $3 right there. I don't know if he was aware of the eyes of my kids upon him. I hope he was.

***

As I waited outside the restroom later for THEBOY to finish his business, Balloon Guy passed me there.

Now, some guys would have said, "Thanks for NOTHING" to him right there and then.

I merely said it to the door that closed behind him. Virtue sucks sometimes.