Survey

When lacking inspiration, it's my policy to just rip off Nadine...

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1.You have 10 bucks and need to buy snacks at a gas station, what do you get?
Gatorade, sunflower seeds, and a couple quick pick Lotto tickets since I'm livin' so large and all.

2. If you had to be reincarnated as some sort of sea dwelling creature, what would you be?
One of those little algae-like critters that only live way down on the sides of volcanic fissures and stuff. I figure you've got limited predators, and it's always warm.

3. Who’s your favorite Redhead?
Jeez, considering how much I like redheads I guess I should be able to spit out a name... but I can't. Uh... er... but you know, it'd make me really happy to kick Carrot Top in the nuts. Does that count?

4. What do you order when you’re at an McDonalds?
Man I hate that place. Once in a while I end up there since I'm a parent and all, so I get some sort of salad I barely put any dressing on. It's like eating a patch of my lawn, but at least it's not wrecking my health.

5. Last book you read:
Interpersonal Process in Psychotherapy by Edward Teyber.

6. Have you made out with anyone on your friend’s list?
That'd be a no. 10-4, over and out.

7. Describe your favorite pair of underwear:
Boxers or boxer briefs. Special nod to my cup, though, which has saved my jewels from errant Krav Maga kicks more times than I can count.

8. Describe the last time you were injured:
I have a cut on my thumb that's poorly placed, and I'll be damned if I have any idea where that came from.

9. Of all people, with whom would you want to be stuck in a well with?
Nick Saloman of the Bevis Frond (and Toland is the only person I know who'll find that amusing)

10. Are there any odd things that make you feel uncomfortable?
You know, I've watched the Charles Bukowski documentary a few times. It's got scenes of spousal abuse, drunkennes, all the usual... but what disturbed me more than anything was his ex-girlfriend with a beard. Seriously, I can barely look at that shit.

11. Are there any weird things that turn you on?
One of the great things about the opposite sex is that you simply never know. Curve of the neck, small of the back, butt, legs...


12 - 13. gone!

14. Flavor of pudding?
I never eat pudding

15. What type of shirt are you wearing?
A brown one made out of that breathable spaceman material I like so much.

16. Prescription medication?
nope

17. If you could use only one form of transportation for the rest of your life what would it be….?
Could I have Salma Hayek carry me on her back?

18. How many people are on your friends list?
Uh... not too many. 8-10 maybe.

19. How many people on your list do you know in real life?
all of them

20. What are you listening to right now?
"Underneath the Mountain" by Varnaline

21. Most recent movie you’ve watched in a theater?
Cars. It was so-so

22. If you could invent anything what would it be?
The Crotch-ola. See, those drink-holders (coozies?) are round, so when you're driving around in your '71 Chevy pickup and put your drink between your legs, it slides slowly forward. I say make it V-shaped with some non-skid stuff on the sides, so it stays nicely wedged there in your crotch.

Speaking of V-shaped inventions, I'd also make Crayons in that shape. You got kids? Then you know how much time in restaurants you spend fetching the ones that roll off the table.

23. Name a teacher you had the hots for:
Ms. Parker, junior English in high school.

24. What’s your favorite city?
You know, probably Seattle.

25. Favorite kind of cake?
I try to avoid cake.

26. What’s the first word that comes to mind right now?
Uh... cake

27. When was the last time you saw your mum in person?
About 2 years ago

28. Who got you to join Myspace?
The worldwide conspiracy

29. What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT?
Rotisserie chicken and some corn.

30. How long have you been residing in the current city you live?
About a decade

31. What’s the last thing you said out loud?
"I am the genie of funk. Everybody get down--hoowah!" (God bless Kool and the Gang)

32. Look to your left, what do you see?
A poster of Duke Snider

33. Who is the last person who spent $100 on you?
Probably my wife.

34. When was your last kiss?
Last Friday, since the wife is away and all.

35. What’s the last piece of clothing you bought?
Shoes for my son. Does that count?

36. Go into your text message log on your phone…who is the last person you texted?
My wife.

37. Go into your text message log on your phone…who is the last person to text you? Geoff Parlett