A BB Survey

1. Someone knocks on your window at 2 am, who do you want it to be?
The sonofabitch who stole my wife's purse in Naples, with the purse and an apology.

2. Your boss tells you he/she will give you a $20 an hour raise if you'll do your job naked, do you?
Now see, you... this... See, parts of the office are COLD, and some are HOT, and... wait, does my door have a lock on it?

3. Your lover's ex calls and needs a tire change, do you go help?
Oh HIM. No. He's a good guy, but I'm finally getting used to NOT seeing him everywhere we go.

4. Ever seen a ghost?
No, but I watched David Lee Roth open for Bad Company, and that was about like seeing a ghost.

5. Would you change your body with surgery?
Not if Santa brings me biceps this year.

6. A reason you would move to Iceland?
Well, global warming's changing the climate to the extent that Iceland will soon feel like Los Angeles. Therefore, I'm already packing.

7. A place you've lived that you miss?
I miss Austin in a nostalgic way, but I don’t want to go back. (Quoted from the Liesl, but I agree with her answer anyway)

8. A person that you miss?
Dad

9. A band/group you thought was cool when you were little?
Creedence Clearwater Revival

10. You have a nightmare, who's the first person you think to tell?
Jodie Foster

11. Wanna have kids before you're 30?
I was well past 30, fool that I am.

12. A memory from high school?
Opening a box of hate mail from students because we'd dared to give negative reviews to the Flock of Haircuts bands they all loved so much. Good times, good times.

13. Ever had a crush on one of your friend's parents?
Ew! No. Now, Ms. Parker, my 10th grade English teacher... heh heh...

15. Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
Dad

16. Something you've always wanted to learn how to do?
Play Jimi Hendrix's version of the Howlin' Wolf song "Killin' Floor."

17. Did you have D.A.R.E. in school?
Yes. It didn't work then either.

18. Where you'd like to be in 10 years?
Making a living in unsanctioned cage fights in Sao Paolo, Brazil.

19. Something you learned about life this year?
To be less judgmental

20. What do you want for your birthday?
Pecs

22. Last item you bought yourself?
A cup of coffee

23. What did you have for breakfast?
A protein shake

24. Name a celeb you think is hot?
Susanna Hoffs.

25. What's your favorite ring tone?
I heard a security guard's phone play "Let's Get It On" the other day, and that was pretty great.

26. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
7 to 7.5

27. Have you ever been tied up?
Yes. It didn't work out so well.

28. What do you wish you were doing right now?
My life is peaking right... NOW

29. Last time you witnessed a fight?
I was actually between two guys at the post office who were squaring off a year or two ago. Of course, I've nearly been in about four since then.

30. What was the last alcoholic beverage you dranK?
Ziegenbock, a six-pack. August 17, 1995.

34. Name three places you would like to travel to?
Ireland, Tokyo, Vancouver

35. Is there anyone you want to date at the moment?
Nope. I'm perfectly satisfied.

36. Favorite food?
You know, I'm about convinced that noodles are the greatest food on earth

37. Name a friend you have the most in common with?
Whit

38. What color are your toenails?
Er... fleshy?

39. Last person you talked with on the phone?
Whit

40. Do you own anything with a skull on it?
A pirate costume

41. Have you traveled to Europe?
Yes

42. Last movie you watched?
300. It was bitchin'.

43. If you could be anything in the world what would it be?
"When I grow up I want to be... one of the harvesters of the sea... I want to be a fisherman..." Okay, so it's a lame, obscure answer. I don't know... the bassist for Van Halen?

44. [missing in action] To that I say... prestidigitator!

45. Last board/card game you played?
Scrabble. I'll kick your butt.

46. Leather or lace?
Leather.

47. Ever had a black eye?
Yep. I'm all boy.

48. Have you said I love you to anyone today?
Yes

49. Have you ever had that "one that got away"?
No

***

Seven deadly sins

1. Wrath
Who did you last get angry with?
A couple teenaged bullies at a local middle school

What is your weapon of choice?
Heh heh... if I'm ever forced to fight with someone I've got to say that my Thai clinch is a bitch to deal with. Ask anyone I've trained with.

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Not really. Defend myself and restrain them, yes.

How about the same sex?
Done it plenty.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Probably MOBB

What is your pet peeve?
Wolfboy can make this gurgling sound that causes the synapses in my brain to misfire.

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
Keep.


2. Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
Uh... er... I'm really not that lazy.

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
Probably 1pm

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
McAuley

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
My excuses have all been pretty good for a while.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Nah

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
I don't

3. Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Iced coffee from Starbucks

Are you a meat eater?
Yes, sort of.

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
No idea. More than enough.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
I seem to be doing something right.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
Sometimes

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
Spicy or Salty

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
If this means that the small child NEEDS some lunch, then yes. It's one of the primary components of raising a child, you know, that whole sustenance thing.


How many credit cards do you own?
One I think

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
But a plane ticket to wherever Tom Green is and kick him in the pants

Would you rather be rich or famous?
Rich.

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
No no no

5. Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
Ask me on May 8

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
No idea

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
Thumb wrestle Nolan Ryan

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
No

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Sure. I just whipped a bunch of six-year-old girls at laser tag, then gave my score card to my son.

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
I can't remember doing so

What did you do today that you're proud of?
Ran two groups alone

6. Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
4,671 ... [Okay, are you kidding? This is ME we're talking about]

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
None. Ever. Zip, zilch, nada. Really. You'd prefer to think of it that way, right?

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
Curves, wherever they may occur.

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
What? I'm not that kind of boy. Unfortunately.

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No. I was flipped off by one that had a penis though.


7. Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
That's it... I'm stealing Hood's lunch tomorrow.

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
Billy Barty

Have you ever been cheated on?
Yep

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
I'd like to look genuinely presentable shirtless, and perhaps I could have a butt too. Everything else I can live with.