On Hamilton... and a Survey

This one's likely to be all over the map. This is why I could never have my own column in a newspaper I guess. Unless it catered specifically to schizophrenics.

My own thoughts can be awfully damn disorganized, that's for sure.

***

BB's current therapy: Aenima by Tool.

***

So the Rangers traded one of their highly-coveted pitching prospects, Edinson Volquez, to Cincinnati for Josh Hamilton.

I suppose it's possible to have a certain sports myopia that would incline one to believe that it's a pretty even swap. Volquez, formerly part of the fabled DVD (Danks/Volquez/Diamond) prospect triumerate, shot up through the Rangers's farm system, undergoing two name changes during the enactment of stricter post-9/11 immigration regulations. And he spent some time playing major league ball, given a chance to take the mound for a team that had nothing to lose. He showed flashes of brilliance, but ended up with an ERA of over 7.00 I believe. [Danks was since sent to the White Sox in the Brandon McCarthy trade; Diamond is, I believe, currently recuperating from shoulder surgery but still Rangers property.]

Hamilton was the #1 overall pick in the 1999 draft, a power-hitting outfielder.

Let me repeat: #1 overall pick.

So here we are, approaching 2008, and he's... what? Is he a major league veteran with a couple hundred homers and an average of maybe 100 RBIs a season?

We'll get to that in a moment.

I don't know minor league ball like some folks. Nothing like Hood, and certainly not like Jamey Newberg. But I can say that I generally have some familiarity with some farm club players, and I've certainly shined a few AA ballpark seats with my backside. And I have rarely heard the term "legendary" used for a minor league player.

But I've heard it regarding Hamilton. Twice. Once for a throw from the warning track that threw out a runner at the plate. At this moment in time, perhaps due to that one play, he's considered by some to have a top 10 arm among the 30 major league teams.

He also reportedly hit a 549-foot home run for one of those farm clubs. It's pretty safe to say that 549 feet is a good 100 feet past the deepest part of many a ballpark with a large outfield.

So yeah, what are we getting in Hamilton here in December of '07, all these years later? Is he the Griffey/Rodriguez megastar lock, as was predicted when he graduated high school?

No, he's a former Rule 5 draft pick who has been claimed on waivers once or twice. What this means in everyman language is that his status dropped so precipitously that he was allowed to be snatched from ball club to ball club willy nilly, more or less depending on who wanted him.

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Some other stats on him:

Number of rehab stays: 8
Number of seasons he missed for suspensions and other drug-related issues: 2 (We're talking full seasons, folks--2003 and 2004).
Number of tattoos: 28 (Okay, there's an inferred judgment in that statement I'm not altogether comfortable with. Still, Hamilton quite vocally associates his ink with his crack-using days).

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He's reportedly been clean since late 2005.

Injuries have nagged Hamilton as well, but he finally made it to the show in 2007.

He tore it up.

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From Newberg: "He hit .292/.368/.554 (including .314/.391/.637 against righthanders) with 19 home runs and
47 RBI in just 298 at-bats." Injuries shortened his season, but when he played he showed remarkable talent.

***

So the Rangers have traded young players with high ceilings.

Volquez has maintained a fairly consistent career arc, whereas Hamilton has been all over the map. This team, which needs a power bat AND a centerfielder, hopes to kill two birds with one stone by putting a recovering addict who has yet to play a full major league season out there.

Last season his food per diem wasn't given directly to Hamilton; it was given to a member of the coaching staff, Johnny Narron, to parse out to Hamilton as necessary. When discussing this in the media, Hamilton said he is a guy who "doesn't need" to have $400 in cash available at any given time. Wow.

Narron has been hired by the Rangers, and the inference in the local media is that he will be expected to be an overseer/mentor/personal ATM for Hamilton.

The baseball fan in me is at once startled, intrigued, and optimistic. The counselor in me is pessimistic.

***

Read Hamilton's first person accountof his struggles.

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Tonight Wolfboy, missing so many front teeth, busted me up as he coaxed me to repeat a tongue twister: "Six slippery slugs slid to the sea." I think that's how it went.

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Things are about to get pretty busy. Tomorrow MOBB and I will take the kids to Corsicana for their holiday get-together. We'll return afterwards. On Christmas, after we've done presents and recuperated sufficiently, THEGIRL and I will head down to Angleton to see some family. I'm looking forward to it.

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I'm so sore from the Krav yesterday. My muscles hurt something terrible. Both of them.

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BB isn't feeling so chipper. But it could be worse. It could be snowing.

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If you've waded through this meandering post to this point, bless you.

I might be in dry dock for several days. Whatever you do this week, please take care of yourself. Be safe.

***

105 Facts About You

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring?
Too often. I told Salma Hayek to stop contacting me.

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP?
16 years with MOBB

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED?
Gift certificate to an import store where I bought two terrific necklaces.

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE?
Too many times. My current model doesn't take it well.

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT?
Yesterday. 2.5 hours of Krav Maga, baby. Gotta say that coffee and biscuits are no way to fuel oneself for a workout. BB was a bit jittery.

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON?
Too much at Starbucks.

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE?
Strawberry Pop Tarts. If I eat past midnight, I go for those.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?
I notice whether or not they're pretty. Easy.

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG?
"I Wish" by Stevie Wonder. My all-time favorite.

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE?
Hurst, Texas

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED:
Angleton High School, class of '86

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER:
AT&T

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE:
Not a store. I like the padded play area. It's fenced, it's good exercise for the kids, and I can relax while they play.

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD:
I've had a couple last 4 years.

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE?
I don't even own Paradise Theater by Styx. (Bad, I know...)

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?:
I'm 39, not 9

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED:
Hmm... Probably Elisa's

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY:
Whit: "Dude, Jade Mountain's going to open 10 more schools across the state..."

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
I have a few folks I consider to be best friends. I am extremely fortunate to have some good, close friends.

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT:
Does Schlotzky's count?

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD:
Not getting into that.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS?
Miss Saigon Cafe

24. CAN YOU COOK?
Barely. I hope you like mustard with your hot dog.

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?:
A '99 Nissan Quest, aka the Papi Chulo Minivan.

26. BEST KISSER:
Me!

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?:
In August when my grandfather passed.

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS:
Cabbage

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
My determination

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF:
The way I struggle with decisions

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?:
I've certainly hit about 16 hours a few times.

33. FAVORITE MOVIE?
Casablanca

34. CAN YOU SING?
Not very well, but I love to do it.

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED?
Smashing Pumpkins, November 18

36. LAST KISS?
Tonight, from THEGIRL. Salma Hayek must have received the restraining order.

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED:
300

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT:
Moisturizer

39. FAVORITE vacation spot
Destin, Florida

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?:
Laptop

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?:
George Carlin

45. DO YOU SMOKE?
No.

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES?
With

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?:
It's supposed to be MOBB, but it doesn't always work out.

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?:
In matters of love, we all blaze our own trails.

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE?
I don't know. Plenty. Only one speeding ticket ever though. Maybe... 10 times?

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST?
Pancakes

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?:
YesindeedIsuredoBUTyoushouldn't thinkIhaveaproblem

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Scrambled, with cheese and salsa.

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?:
No. The planets do not care about me.

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?:
Whit

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?:
Probably Whit

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?:
From Whit. I see a pattern here...

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?:
2 for me

59. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW?:
Grey long-sleeve t-shirt, flannel work jacket, blue jeans, socks, house shoes, under-stuff

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRICS:
"Once I had a ma... I even had a pa. He beat her with a belt once 'cause she cried." Townes Van Zandt, "Waitin' Around to Die"

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?:
Apricot

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?:
Yes, but I'm no ace.

63. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yep. I swim well.

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?:
Mint chocolate chip

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS?
No. I didn't inherit the cartography gene.

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF:
I have webbed toes.

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?:
If a costume party counts, then yes

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON
Spring

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID?
Parts of Elf made me laugh.

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ?
6:40am...Wolfboy is cruel and unusual

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?:
Air quality is good.

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?:
Oh, almost a decade ago unless you count parking tickets.

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?:
Dooley

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?:
What gives with the pirate stuff?

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND??
Not much.

78. BIRTHDATE
08/29/1968. Same day in August as Michael Jackson, Elliott Gould, and Charlie Parker.

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE:
A counselor, specializing in addiction

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?:
Yes

87. ARE YOU SMILING?:
Not unless you're naked

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW?
Yes

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?
Tokyo

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?:
No

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?:
Nah

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME?
Enos Cabell

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?:
I'd call it... sea foam green.

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?:
Well, it resumes in January.

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?:
No

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?:
No, but I will soon.

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER?
Yes

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?:
No

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?:
Yes

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL?
Nope!

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW?
Yes

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING?
One of the new necklaces

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY?
Waste time on Facebook