Wirra Wirra Wirra

What’s that from? Isn’t it a refrain used by some character in a children’s book when a character is worrying?

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Interesting days here, interesting times. I share a lot, I know. I can’t share everything though. Personal reasons, ethical reasons.

Answers come from unexpected sources sometimes. Old questions, new questions, whatever.

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BB’s current therapy: New River Head by the Bevis Frond

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Looks like we’ll have no Phoenix trip this year. I simply got too busy, waited too late to plan it. But perhaps I’ll take Wolfboy someplace like Glen Rose, Texas, where they have cool dinosaur footprints.

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A clerk at the Walgreen’s spoke to me last night. He’s always struck me as an interesting young man. Big vocabulary, nerdy ways, sunny disposition. I feel some sort of kinship with him.

He said something nice about my Buddhist eternity knot necklace, which I wear a lot. I told him what it is.

He said, “When I go in Earthbound Trading Company and see the Buddhas I have to rub their bellies.”

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We want the golden path for our children. We want them to be happy, healthy, smart, and to know that they are loved.

We don’t want them to be ostracized, belittled, traumatized, saddened, neglected or unsure of love.

The very best parents cannot prevent all of those things from happening. We underestimate our children sometimes.

And yes, we overestimate them too. More often than not, though, if you raise your kid(s) with good intentions and effort, they will end up being okay. Despite your fears and worries, and the ways in which the mistakes play on an endless loop in your parent brain, they will tell you, in the end, that you did fine..

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We close down Tex Mex restaurants. We do.

Since ’91 we’ve picked family-owned joints and patronized them every Friday night. I don’t know how many we’ve gone through, but eventually they all go belly-up. I guess that’s the curse of avoiding chain places.

So is each of these defunct outfits a failure by virtue of the fact that it didn’t last forever?

I don’t think so.

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I had this dream once.

I dreamed I was witnessing the courtship of my maternal grandparents. They were young, looking quite different from the way I picture them. He was in his military uniform and she was in a modest dress. They were arm in arm, going to movies, going on dates.

And in the dream, I pleaded with her from my nebulous vantage point: Don’t do it. Don’t marry him. You’ll get pregnant on your wedding night, he’ll accuse you of doing it intentionally, and your life will be decades of being subject to alcoholism and verbal abuse until the kids grow up and you finally leave him. Don’t… please.

She couldn’t hear me.

I woke up realizing I’d effectively been trying to wish myself out of existence.

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Ya’ll take care.