Pee Like the Wind!

Halloween is meant for five-year-olds, simple as that. This wasn’t just a walk around the neighborhood for him—it was a full blown sortie. THEBOY'S finally old enough to fully grasp it, apply some logic. He knew that a well-decorated house tended to mean good treats. He’d see other trick/treaters and want to go where they’ve been. We did a complete sweep of three streets, and he scored a lot of loot.

THEGIRL didn’t go after all. Recovering from a respiratory bug as she is, we decided it’d be best to keep her in. She’s too young to understand anyway.

Oddly, none came to the house. That’s a first. Our street is kind of dark, and I guess they stuck to other streets.

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I’m registered for the half marathon now!

Houston, January… I’ve clearly lost my mind…

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Current music: “Jackie Wilson Said” by Van Morrison.

Let it all hang out.

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Parenting teaches one to improvise, let me tell you. And I’d like to cast an apology out into cyberspace, into the universe, into the hearts and minds of whoever stops by. I am here to admit my sin to you, to ask for your forgiveness.

I’m doing this because I’m certainly not going to do any of the above to the actual owner of the house whose yard THEBOY peed in last night.

We’d gotten all the way down our street, which is a long walk when you’re 44 inches tall. That’s when he announced that he needed to go.

I’d broken parenting rule #1: Before going anywhere, ask if they need to go to the toilet. In fact, insist if you must. Berate them. Instill a fear in them of just how bad it will be if they get to wherever you’re going and suddenly NEED TO PEE.

They can sort it out in therapy later. Most importantly, do not put yourself in a bind.

Or else, see, you might find yourself behind a tree in the yard of a house where no one answered the doorbell, hiking up your son’s SCREAM outfit, holding his pants partly down (as opposed to the “drop to the ankles” approach he usually uses) and urging him to pee, pee like the wind!

And he did. I was very clear: Don’t do this. That is, don’t do THIS, unless some grownup, who will most likely be me, is telling you it’s okay. Or at least doing a good job of watching for cars and telling you everything’s GOING to be okay.

Maybe.