BB versus the Chinese Mafia

THEGIRL has this habit, see, of announcing that she is UP and ready to get OUT of BED by knocking loudly on her own door.

At 8:14 this morning, she did just that. The sound startled me. I jumped out of bed, put on a shirt, and threw open our front door, expecting to see ... something. Someone. CIA? Chinese mafia? The surviving members of Lynyrd Skynyrd?

Alas, no one was there.

Riiiiiiiiiight, I thought. That's my kid, knocking on her door. Yes. Yes..

Have I mentioned that I'm not a morning person?

***

Took Wolfboy out for a playdate today. We met the other boy and his dad at Chuck E. Cheese.

Yes, I've been off of my brain meds since Monday. (I'm only partially joking).

But honestly, it wasn't bad. We got a lot of entertainment for $20. The games--even the really cool ones--are only a token apiece.

***

Tried to sleep some this afternoon. Next time I try to nap, I'm turning my cellphone off.

***

Got my hair cut at 5pm. It was a new guy. I liked him just fine. He's been sober 32 years.

***

I went running tonight right at sundown. I like the college track, but it can be a bit tricky. It's a one-mile track, so it's a bit more enjoyable than just doing laps at LD Bell. Thing is, they only allow track use during daylight hours. I show up late in the day, and I see the college cops skulking around. It bugs me. They drive sloooowly through the parking lot, and I keep expecting to find one of their little parking tickets on my windshield. Or they'll park under a tree somewhere, facing the jogging track. It's a wee bit unnerving.

But it was a decent run. Not a great one. I'm just getting back into a good exercise routine, so I need to be realistic. I can't yet proclaim the 3 miles I'm running to be a plateau, right?

***

Paul Westerberg is God, by the way.

***

Tomorrow is Father's Day. Perhaps I'll sleep in. Maybe I won't rush to the front door in a frenzy, ready to fight off the world's least-secretive ninjas or something.

I could take 'em.

I would like to get noodles, of course. Might see a movie, take a nap... oh, and the rainout in New York today means a Rangers doubleheader tomorrow. If it's broadcast on 27, well, that's proof that we have a good and noble God.

***

Stan and Carl are big baseball fans, the lifelong variety. They've always wondered, though, if there's baseball in Heaven.

They make a deal: Whoever dies first will try to come back and tell the other.

Sure enough, Carl dies unexpectedly. A few days later, while lying in bed at night, Stan hears this voice.

"Stan... Stan..."

"Carl, is that you?" asks Stan.

"Yes... yes..."

"So you can tell me whether there's baseball in Heaven?" asks Stan.

"Well, I have good news and bad news," says the voice of Carl.

"Okay, what's the good news?" asks Stan.

"There IS baseball in Heaven," says Carl.

"And what's the bad news?" asks Stan.

"You're pitching tomorrow."

***

Good night.