Happy Saturday, y'all. It's been a glorious, beautiful day here.
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The kids came in and woke us up this morning, piling onto the bed and turning what was a peaceful, sloth-like transition out of sleep into a WWE-style romp. I could only wonder aloud if the (child free) Baums were across the street sleeping peacefully. Probably.
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Kevin Millwood pitched a complete game, gave up only two runs, and still lost to the Angels tonight. Baseball's a heartbreaking game sometimes.
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I've been mulling over the concept of beauty. In our human sexuality class we've spent some time discussing how a woman's self-image plays into intimacy. Here I am pushing 40, and only in this class have I really begun to grasp that impact.
And I in no way mean to downplay this or make light of it. It's quite a serious issue.
I know our media are full of rail-thin blondes. Aren't natural blondes actually only about 10% of the population? Somehow they've become the paradigm for beauty, and you know, we can't blame that on the media we grew up with. Jean Harlow wasn't a natural blonde. Neither was Marilyn Monroe. Rita Hayworth, who was Latina, dyed her black hair red, by the way.
And probably none of those women would have found much modeling or acting work in the last few decades, because they weren't 110 pounds. I still think that those long, lean models whose ribs protrude strike those bent, awkward poses in photos in order to mimic the curves they actually no longer have. Maybe this is where modern trends meet evolutionary echoes.
In Europe in the Middle Ages it was all rage for a while for women to shave their hairlines back a bit, to give themselves a high, broad forehead.
A modest Tongan community exists in the small cities between Dallas and Fort Worth. That's one culture that obviously has a different take on beauty; I have never yet seen a thin Tongan.
I've known the guys who spend their lives looking for a girl who matches the paradigm. They're routinely disappointed.
But I certainly know plenty of the other type, the guys who want a girl who looks feminine, who has curves and perhaps the type of beautiful features that set them apart instead of making them generic. This preference is genuine; guy-to-guy, they'll tell me in no uncertain terms when they think someone's too slender, or if they look like they came out of some machine that makes identical pretty girls.
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The generalization holds that women overlook a lot as far as men's looks if there are other desirable pieces to the puzzle. Is this true? I'm inclined to agree.
But I think it goes the other way too. I still think most of the guys I know aren't as shallow as the reputation purports. I can still hear my father asking me once, "Wouldn't it be great to be with a girl who smiles?.
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You look in the mirror and see flaws. You see what doesn't look the way you wish. I see beauty.
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Take care, and have a great weekend.
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4 comments:
From my sister. Posted with her permission:
It's not just the media that promotes the belief that women must be 110 pounds to be beautiful. It is also the fashion industry. Since I am no longer in my 20's and now wear a size 12, it is very hard to find suitable clothing.
Clothing is either made for 110 pound waifs, or 60 year old grandmas. And bathing suits are a nightmare if you're not built like a model. I just spent $100 on a bathing suit that fits well and keeps everything supported, but still looks kind of dorky and too old for me.
I don't even know why this bothers me so much. It is just hard to maintain a positive self-image when everything you try on looks like crap.
Media and peer pressure really take a toll on a girl's self-image. Before the seventh grade, I was more worried about my clothes, if they were cool or not. But then my doubts about myself hit in the seventh grade. I posed for a local clothing merchant's ad in our paper. My homeroom teacher posted it on his door. I remember the boys talking about it. I didn't hear what they were saying, but I thought, "Oh, no, they're making fun of me." It didn't help that one girl had developed huge boobs during that time. Later I wanted to try out for cheerleader, but looking at all the other girls who were trying out, I realized how big I was. I have more stories, but I'm still recovering from the scars of those years. I hope that our girl keeps her feistiness and positive self-image. And with our help and guidance, she will.
Maybe it's media. Maybe it's the entertainment industry. Maybe it's competiveness - women are competitive. Maybe it is the embarrassment of being the one that ISN'T asked to dance while your skinny friends are getting all the attention.
Sometimes, though, it is the boyfriend who chooses to leave the poster of the swimsuit model on his bedroom wall, even after he invites you there. Or the (ex)husband that asks you if you have ever considered surgery....
Whatever the answer, I am glad that you have posted this. Maybe if more of you guys would voice these opinions OUT LOUD, you could start a revolution.
This issue tends to frustrate me to no end. I'm one of those guys who naturally prefers a bigger, more normal-sized woman. I have never gone for the apparent 'Hollywood' ideal of beauty...which to me means 'skinny as a rail.' As a result, I get pretty cheesed off at the media for implying that women are only important, beautiful, or glamorous if they fit that type. Screw that! Give me a curvy girl any day!
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