The Brilliant, Rotten Little Girl and Wolfboy's Ways

BB's current therapy: "Black Cloud" by Hookah Brown

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Each of my kids has been sick this week. THEGIRL woke up pukey yesterday.

Before you unleash your "poor baby" pronunciations, though, we need to flash back a little farther than that.

*

See, Sunday afternoon, MOBB and Wolfboy and I were scattered to the far corners of the house for whatever reasons. So it was by pure chance that I walked down the hall and saw...

...THEGIRL on her tip toes at the bucket of Easter eggs. She quietly slipped one into the Santa hat she was holding and turned to walk away.

Brilliant, rotten little girl!

She saw me and stopped. I had to stifle laughter. She tried to get dramatic, but I was clear: "Daddy's not mad, but PUT THAT BACK. You have to ask Mama or Daddy for that."

[Why DO we parents sometimes refer to ourselves in the third person with kids anyway?]

*

So she awoke yesterday morning and pronounced that she was "hurt." She wakes up in such a pissy, dramatic mood sometimes that we couldn't be sure if she was crying wolf or being serious.

When she got on all fours and barfed, I was convinced.

And as she suffered there while I tried to comfort her, only THEN did I notice that her bedroom floor was littered with empty candy wrappers.

***

She was intensely sick for a brief period, then woke up fine.

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Wolfboy is suffering from seasonal allergies and hay fever, bigtime. Today he got to see the doctor for the second time in a week. I must admit that the doctor spoke in such a fast-paced kid patois that he lost me at times, but Wolfboy gave good answers to the questions, and I walked out feeling like the doctor had a good grip on his problems.

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We were talking to Wolfboy about girls a couple days ago. He doesn't mention them much, but will say matter of factly that this girl or maybe these other two girls "love" him. I asked him about one I know by name, and said that if he loves one back it should be HER, because she's beautiful.

MOBB threw out a name and asked what he thought of her.

"She likes me. I don't love her, but she's pretty tough, so I pretend to."

Smart kid.

***

He picked out a book for me to read tonight based solely on the fact that it contains a line that I have a very difficult time reading aloud: "What would a witch want with a winch in a swamp?"

It comes out with even more W and D sounds when I read it, reducing me to a belly-laughing Elmer Fudd every time. I think it took me about fifteen times to get it right.

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Okay, I've succeeded at avoiding this paper long enough. Take care. Look at the person you love and tell him or her just how beautiful you think they are.