Thursday, May 28, 2009

Some Gris Gris for Ya

I'm the fool who scaled a six-foot iron fence on Memorial Day, only realizing at the very top that (A) I'm 40 and probably too old for this crap, and (B) those sharp iron spikes could cause some real damage.

Luckily I landed safely on the other side. I was determined to work out. I'm trying (oh yes I am, Whit) to get back in gear. I've lost a chunk of stamina that I'd like to have back.


My aunt Shirley is doing well in her recovery from surgery Tuesday, I'm told.


This has been my busiest counseling month so far. This morning in supervision, as I review the cases from my 7 individual clients, my two (thus far) at my day job, and my three (and possibly soon four) groups that I run or co-facilitate, my supervisor asked me, "When are you not working?"


Good point. She suggests that I'm a candidate for burnout, and she's probably right. I'm going to take a hard look at my schedule and set aside some free time each week for me.


The new day job is a real adventure, and I'm enjoying it so far. I'm learning a lot, and I'm making mistakes here and there. I can't talk about clients, of course, but you know, I'm getting the kind of stories that will stick with me for years, believe me.


Tomorrow would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. Technically we'll make it, though we're living apart, of course.


And as of Monday I'll have a new extraordinary chicken to admire on my calendar.


Yesterday THEGIRL won the only "art achievement" certificate handed out at the awards ceremony. Wolfboy had the highest number of points for reading in his grade. There were many good, accomplished readers present whose scores he had doubled or more.

My kids!


Gotta scoot. Y'all take care.

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Lookin' Out My Back Door

"For a manfromTexas! Create a happy family! With a Russian bride!" That's what the advertisement on the side of this page reads as I type this.


Things are moving along okay here. Things are peaceful, amicable. That's about all I'll say regarding my impending divorce at this moment.


Having the kids over to my place is enjoyable, yet still a challenge in many ways. Sunday night I had us all sleep in my king-size bed.

See, technically there IS space enough for the three of us in that bed. You know, if we all stay in our places and share nicely.

But what happens is that THEGIRL, when she's not beating the bejeebers out of me with her knees and elbows, gravitates towards me. I put off heat, and maybe she just gravitates that way to keep warm. So all night long I have this munchkin right up against my back.

Last night I tried a new approach. I put them in the big bed, and I "slept" on the air mattress.


Ruffles potato chips don't have as many ridges as this stupid thing. And it's got a "built-in pillow." That means it's got this distended bit at the end where your head goes. But it's just wrong. Wrong size, wrong angle... I woke up with such a pain in my neck. Oy.


But I'm holding up okay.


God bless Creedence Clearwater Revival.


I'm a busy boy, and frustrated by the fact that my place is a wreck and that stuff I need is inevitably packed away in some box somewhere.

Everyone has been terrific and kind though. I have been given terrific stuff like furniture and kids' toys, and folks have lent their time and energy to help me get into my new place. And the moral support has been beyond belief. One of the greatest lessons I'm taking from this transition is what it really means when someone has your back.


My friend Angie has this posted on eBay:

If you buy it, I want to look at it.


In case you hadn't heard, I'm changing jobs within my agency. After 2.5 years working to help clients enroll in state benefits such as CHIP, Medicaid, Food Stamps and more, I'm moving to a new program that will help the homeless. I'll get to do a lot of drug and alcohol counseling, which is why I got into counseling in the first place. It'll get me my internship hours quickly, and it'll be a real challenge. I start May 18.


On the way to work this morning I was listening to a bootleg of the Who in Dallas, August of 2000. Kelli was pregnant with Wolfboy. I remember what a great show that was, and how I had this immediate sense that they were NOT just jerking around; they came to prove something. Great show, and a solid bootleg.

I worked for Yahoo at that time. So much has changed. Two kids now, a divorce... after Yahoo I went into commercial TV, then changed career paths altogether. I wish I knew then what I know now.

Y'all take care.

Friday, May 01, 2009


I'm strong. I'm determined. I will succeed in this new chapter in my life.

Kelli and the kids are gone to Corsicana, leaving me time and space to pack my stuff and get out.

It's just Ringo and the radio and me. Lots of work to do, but nothing to worry about.

Until I found a bottle of Ativan in the cabinet.

Just typing that gives me chills. If you're not familiar with it, it's an anxiolytic, a benzodiazepine, and above all, highly addictive.

And fun.

Shaking my head.

I didn't expect this. Me, all alone, no one to know what in the world I'm up to, no one to answer to...

It sang to me so beautifully.

I put my head against the door frame there in the bathroom and listened to it.

I thought of three or four people I should maybe call.

After about two minutes, I walked into the yard, opened the bottle, and pitched all of those tiny pills into the grass.

I am before you now, giving thanks to my maker for giving me strength right now, in my hour of need. I passed the test.