Breaking Bread

Breaking bread, part 1:

[The scene is supper tonight in the Briscoe casa. Wolfboy, having done a fine job with his pasta, is now allowed to have some garlic bread. If you have kids, you understand; they'll load up on bread first and blow off the pasta if you're not careful]

Wolfboy: "May I have some bread?"

BB: "You did a good job with your pasta. Sure. Just go tear some off of the loaf on top of the stove."

[Wolfboy grabs the bread and tugs, twists, and grunts]

Wolfboy: "I can't do it."

MOBB: "Sure you can. Just pretend you're the Hulk."

Wolfboy: "He's not one of my favorite comic book heroes, Mom."

[Wolfboy goes to the drawer, gets a butter knife, and proceeds to hack a piece of bread off of the loaf. The whole process takes about five minutes]

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Breaking bread, part II:

[The scene is a few minutes later, when THEGIRL has managed to eat enough pasta that she too may now have some bread.]

MOBB: "Go get some bread from the kitchen."

[THEGIRL hops down, goes to the kitchen, grabs the loaf of bread, GROWLS like a cornered animal, and rips off a hunk of bread the size of a shoe in about .025 seconds. She calmly walks back to the table and begins chowing down as we laugh.]

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Hey, my birthday is coming up and all, but let me be clear: I do NOT want a musical toilet seat.

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Have a good weekend.