The Conqueror

See, THIS is what happened to the Vikings. It's weather like this which basically made it impossible to procreate. I imagine the scene played out something like this:

Sven the Conqueror: "Man, I thought Magnus and his wench would never leave."
Mrs the Conqueror: "Take off that helmet and come over here you elk-slayer you."
StC: "Say, your feet are really cold tonight, my little muskrat hide."
Mrs tC: "Don't worry about that. They'll warm up."

Pause

Mrs tC: "What's the matter, o' razer of the outlands?"
StC: "Uh... it's little Sven... I don't think he likes it quite this... cold."

Pause

Mrs tC: "Oh, don't worry... I'm sure it happens to every Viking at some point..."

***

Several sources are reporting tonight that the Rangers have pulled out of the Carlos Delgado negotiations. Word has it his agent took Texas's offer and waved it under the Mets' noses. Tom Hicks made it quite clear that Friday's offer was their best, period.

Delgado's agent, David Sloane, is now grumbling about Texas only today clarifying that Delgado would be the designated hitter most of the time.

(Pause for both of my readers to yell "bullshit!")

Guys guys guys. Even if Texas didn't clarify until pressed what Delgado's role would be here, what the heck were he and his agent thinking? That Mark Teixeira would be the DH? Delgado's an okay first baseman defensively, but nothing more.

Here he could have put up of Hall of Fame numbers with our short right porch and the chance for him to DH so often. What a way to inflate one's numbers, you know?

He can go to the Mets. Shea Stadium, I'm told, is no hitter's paradise, especially for a lefty.

He can go to Florida. Not so great; they play in a football stadium that's also not geared for lefty power hitters. AND, they're feuding with the city of Miami; they could be playing in some as-yet-unknown venue in LAS VEGAS (I'm not making this up) in two years.

Or there's Baltimore. Another fine park for a stud lefty hitter, but shoot, that's the AL East, man. He can inflate his numbers while watching New York and Boston keep the Orioles out of the postseason year after year.

I'm not saying he's not Hall of Fame bound if he doesn't come to Texas. I'm just saying that there seems to be a genuine lack of smarts in the Delgado camp.

What this should probably make even clearer than ever for us is that it's all about the biggest contract, period.

***

Spoke to Dad tonight, and you know, I can't wait for him to get a chance to take THEBOY fishing. THEBOY brings it up almost every day ("Is Papa Briscoe gonna take me fishing today?"). In some ways THEBOY is more like my father than like me.

***

And Amanda got to spend a chunk of the weekend at a condo in Galveston. I hope she had a great time. I know she needed it. Heck, I need it too...

***

Started my statistics course Saturday. My God... it's... it's three hours of a guy blathering on about statistics every week. I think I can do it, but man, by the last 20 minutes my mind was in spring training.

***

Starting to put together plans to see the Rangers in spring training in March, in fact. Trying to nail down a yea or a nay from Henley on this. Hood and I are a given. Texas shares a facility with Kansas City in Surprise, Arizona. We'll be some serious baseball geeks, taking in as many games as we can.

***

Tuesday I think I'll wear my Boston Red Sox 2004 World Series Champs cap. Once Hood sees it, I may not actually live long enough to go to spring training.

***

Okay, enough rambling. Ya'll have a good week.