Meme Me

Thanks to Michael Toland for scooting this my way...

ANGER

1. Who did you last get angry with? ***I’ve been angry for about a week now. Mostly about work. Will spare you the rest.

2. What is your weapon of choice? ***Funny, I begin judo next week. I’ll finally have some training to back up this attitude.

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? ***If attacked, sure. I’ll hold the door open for a lady, but if she assaults me she’s no lady, and chivalry has no place.

4. How about of the same sex? ***Yes indeed. I park in a fairly rough area, so it wouldn’t surprise me if some near-scrape at some point gets physical.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you? ***A sales manager in Tucson, heh heh.

6. What is your pet peeve? ***Bad drivers, mostly.

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?***I need to work on this. Once someone’s hacked me off I’m bad about just sort of crossing them off some imaginary list. If they can be a jerk to me once, I can make them persona non grata for a long time. Forever sometimes.

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you haven't done in a while? ***Floss

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up? ***I’ve probably cleared noon a time or two, long ago, pre-children.

3. Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't: ***Phil Nedbalek, though I have text-messaged him recently.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made? ***”I really don’t feel like standing around in a roomful of people holding cocktails.” Wasn’t really lame, actually.

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through? ***Highly doubtful.

6. When was the last time you got a good workout?***This is where I avoid the temptation to make sex jokes, right? Okay, trying… Um, 10-odd days ago at Jade Mountain.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today? ***I believe this morning may have been the first time in my life I did it. My son was up puking at 2:30am, and let’s just say that I was dragging a bit this morning.

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice? ***Iced coffee at Starbucks.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat? ***Both.

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event? ***I have no idea how to answer this. If you’ve ever been drunk to the point of blacking out, well, suffice to say you’ve had a lot.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company? ***No.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight? ***Not really.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy foods?***Spiiiiicy. Do not underwhelm me with subtlety.

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "LUNCH"? ***Who wrote this messed up question?

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family)? No idea. I’m a guy, and I’d hope this is excluding the thousands of times I’ve been in locker rooms. As far as lovers go, which seems to be what this is implying, I will take a strangely prudish bent and not go there. I know, surprising…

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family)? ***See #1.

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of your gender of choice during a normal conversation? ***Um… no, I don’t think I have.

4. Have you "done it"? ***Ah, so a 12-year-old wrote this. I have two children, folks.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice? ***Butt, although they have to take care of their feet. I will notice if they’re gross, and I will be turned off. Not sure if that makes me a foot fetishist. Aren’t they into toe sucking or something?

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute? ***No. Flipped off, yes.

7. Have you ever had to get tested for an STD or pregnancy? ***I give blood regularly, and that includes an AIDs test. And I was tested for STDs as part of a physical once.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own? ***One.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store? ***Starbucks.

3. If you had $1 million, what would you do with it? ***Build a house.

4. Would you rather be rich, or famous? ***Rich, baby.

5. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks? ***Hell, I’m already doing boring… why not get rich at it?

6. Have you ever stolen anything? ***Yes.

7. How many MP3s are on your hard drive? ***Several dozen.

PRIDE

1. What one thing have you done that you're most proud of? ***Become part of a loving, normal family with a good wife and kids.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of? ***Not sure. Not too many of us go to college. Um… or raising my kids. Or… Dad’s awfully proud of my unpublished book.

3. What's something you would like to accomplish in your life? ***Getting my bloody book published.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place? ***No. And this makes me a bad guy to invite to poker night. I don’t care about losing; I’m a social player.

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors? ***I get the big head about my writing, so yes.

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score? ***Once in high school. Got caught too.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of? ***I comforted my sick child.

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own? ***Bruiser’s Ramones shirt.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?***GENEVIEVE GORDER GENEVIEVE GORDER GENEVIEVE GORDER. Or Paige Davis in a pinch… is that the kind of answer you’re looking for? If this about remodeling, PLEASE…

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be? ***Nah, I don’t want to do that.

4. Have you ever been cheated on? ***Yes (“just visiting” MY BUTT)

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own? ***Yes, unless this is really a question about genitals. Interpret that however you want.

6. What in-born trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself? ***A straight spine, like Toland said.

7. Do you wish you'd come up with this survey? ***Wow… someone’s proud of THIS one…

8. Finally, what is your favorite deadly sin? ***Lust. I’m a guy. It’s how we’re wired.