Oversexed Plants

THEGIRL took her first steps Saturday! I love it.

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I dreamed was in London, watching a baseball game. I was mad when the woman at the hot dog stand couldn't take my 10-spot.

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The UK game was identical to ours, apparently, though the pitchers threw no off-speed stuff. They lived and died on power and location.

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Love the quote from when Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood was busted for public urination back in '99: "I can't stop now! I have to finish."

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So Alex Sanchez is the first guy suspended under baseball's new steroids policy. He's listed at 5'10" and 180 lbs, an inch shorter and the same weight as me.

So what, was he 5'2" and 130 lbs when drafted??

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Baseball season has begun, folks. I feel like I can breathe again.

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Hack, cough... okay, maybe not... damn these spring allergies. The baby's on congestion medicine that helps her breathe, but makes her completely joyless. She goes about the business of playing, eating and trying to walk with no smiles whatsoever. And I'm not sure, but I think she asked me for "Pink Floyd" yesterday.

And THEBOY regularly wakes up with eyes stuck shut. I fetch a warm wash cloth each morning to clean him up just so he can open his eyes.

I hope all those oversexed plants out there are happy with themselves.

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I have no idea whether any baseball gets played in London. Oh, it wouldn't surprise me if some community of American expatriates had some sort of informal league going.

When I fly, takeoffs and landings always make me nervous. As much as I've flown, I just never get used to it. But if I'm sitting near a window, I stare out during a landing and scan the ground for baseball diamonds. You'd be surprised how many you can find.

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And yes, I'm the type of guy who stares at the needle whenever getting a shot or having blood drawn.

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What do you think the Devil's blog would look like?

"Damn these Americans... some of them lack a moral compass altogether, but they're just not smart enough to intentionally be malicious, so it's tough to get them so sign on the dotted line. I'm still lobbying for the Man Upstairs to add 'narcissism' as the eighth deadly sin..."

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The stats test Saturday was a bitch. Ouch. I think I passed, but I worked 90 minutes on 25 mostly multi-choice questions, and I was only the third person to hand it in. I think there'll be a steep curve on this one.

Child dev test tomorrow, but I'm in much better shape for that one. Fascinating stuff.

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Okay, guess it's time to face the day. Ugh.