The Business of Being Me

Can I get back to the business of being me? Pretentious rambling, bad jokes, random links, quotes from my heroes...?

Okay, Ralph Wiggum isn't really a hero. I'm more of a Milhouse man.

***

My buddy Mike Llorca talked about a disastrous diaper incident with his baby son Joshua the other day. J-dog crapped on him, peed on him and sneezed on him. Mike noted that Joshua came very close to achieving the rare "bodily fluid cycle."

(Obscure to some, but not to baseball fans...)

***

Speaking of bodily fluids, I've been drawn to those UFC videos lately. Whit (http://www.jademountain.org) showed me some at his place once, and over the last couple of weeks I find that they're a good way to wind down after a tough week.

I was anxious to share a couple with my buddy Erik Hood, and he was quite a vocal naysayer. He's from Hawaii, and I gather the sport is popular out there. He believes it's trashy more than anything.

(What does he know about trashy? They don't have mobile homes in Hawaii... as he says, "MOBILE homes, bra... where you think they're gonna go? It's an ISLAND...")

The fights are brutal, no doubt. I just watched the bloodiest fight I've ever seen, a rematch between Randy Couture (who won) and Vitor Belfort. I watched a guy get his arm broken last week, and he wanted to keep fighting. Dude, your arm is supposed to bend at the ELBOW.

I don't know that I can make an argument to defend this sport to someone who doesn't like it for whatever reason. It's hard to be a proponent of violence as entertainment (though other violent sports are popular; I guess nothing is as specifically focused on inflicting pain as UFC. I personally can't stand to watch bull riding--it scares me to death).

I do think there are some incorrect assumptions about the fights though. There are rules, and there is a referee. A fighter can submit ("tap out") if he's had enough. If a fighter is unable to defend himself, the referee will end the bout. No bites, kicks to the groin, eye gouges or kicks to a man lying down are allowed. Again, hard to defend something that could be seen as barbaric, but it's not a complete melee.

Frankly, considering that I've got a shrink who's a big believer in getting out one's frustrations, I feel like these videos do that to a certain extent. They can certainly be good for an adrenaline rush.

And it's interesting to watch different styles and disciplines square off. Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is well-represented, though there are plenty of Muay Thai/kickboxing, wrestling, and boxing guys. Nobody really seems to come in as a Karate, Tai Kwan Do or Kung Fu fighter; you really get a sense of what's most effective. Guys I like to watch so far: Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Yves St. Edward, and Nick Diaz. I'm not so keen on Tito Ortiz or Vitor Belfort.

***

I quit watching boxing for a stretch in the 80s after Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini killed a Korean boxer (was his name Doo Koo Kim?). But eventually I drifted back to it, justifying it to myself by noting that every man who steps into the ring knows the risks.

***

The buzz about Inside Deep Throat (http://movies.yahoo.com/shop?d=hv&cf=info&id=1808490817&intl=us) is something I won't get into (at least not at the moment--maybe later).

But it does remind me of a chilling passage from Cracked (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060096543/qid=1108192597/sr=2-1/ref=pd_ka_b_2_1/002-4435324-6800810) by Dr. Drew Pinsky. He works at an inpatient addiction facility. Routine physicals are part of admission. He knows that a lot of the women who end up with drug habits have been abused. He mentions that he can tell even if the patient hasn't said anything because when he peers into her mouth he sees a particular "pharyngeal relaxation."

***

Once you really open your eyes, man, it becomes clear that there's a broadly unhealthy attitude towards women in our society. Objectification is a serious problem.

***

Wait, I told myself I wouldn't get HEAVY this time. It's been a heavy enough week.

***

I also told myself I wouldn't blather on about how awful my statistics class is. I will ask that, if you're doing anything between 11am and 2pm on Saturdays that doesn't involve listening to a lecture on statistics, be thankful.

***

Speaking of Mike Llorca and fights... he works for an ATM outfit, and they've got video of a customer fighting one of their machines to a draw. The referee stopped the fight when the customer smashed the video screen with his fist.

But I still think the ATM could beat Tito Ortiz.

(Badoom!)

***

I guess it's late enough, and I've prattled on about nothing long enough.

Sleep in, sleep well, sleep in peace. You've got a roof over your head and someone loves you.

[Sorry for the in-text links; when posting from home, on the iMac, I can't do hyperlinks]