Captain Superfreak

Current music: �Hurt� by Johnny Cash

 

***

 

What I just saw is hard to put into words.

 

But that never stopped me.

 

Joie and I were driving to Subway to pick up lunch. It�s about two miles down the service road from here.

 

And� standing outside an apartment complex was a man who seemed to think he�s a superhero.

 

The description:

 

Black male, probably just shy of six feet tall.

 

Red, white and blue leggings. Might have even been scraps of flags for all I could tell.

 

Black belt with a big (eh, cowboy-size) belt buckle.

 

Red, white and blue long-sleeve shirt with eagles and such here and there.

 

Mask� it was so hard to get a good look at this guy�s mask. We couldn�t decide if it was greasepaint or really a mask, but I�ve about decided it wasn�t paint. Sort of� like a combination of the Lone Ranger�s mask with some multi-colored stuff below it. Maybe the lower part was greasepaint.

 

The top of his head sort of came to a point, and blue, mop-like strands stuck straight up, mostly. Looked like a sort of wig to me, but Joie thought that was real hair.

 

He was walking along the sidewalk, sort of slowly ambling along, watching the ground.

 

***

 

We proceeded to Subway, chattering about what we�d seen. We thought maybe he was a crackhead who decided he�d be a superhero. He kinda walked like he�d taken a jump off a second-story balcony.

 

But his costume was too tidy, too elaborate for some random crackhead stunt.

 

***

 

We saw him on the way back. He was standing by the road, and we slowed way down. I honked. He looked at the van, checked his (super secret decoder?) watch and took off running into the apartment complex. He seemed to be in good shape, running with a purpose. Maybe the commissioner just called him. Or we blew his cover.

 

Man I wish we'd had a camera.