Double Gurgle

I don’t know whether I’m better. I guess the nicest way to put it is that one big, gross symptom has steadily declined while another has taken its place.

Put another way: My life has been like an endless Imodium commercial since Thursday.

Put yet another way: I’m now gassier than a dirigible.

***

So before I spin entirely off into tacky humor…

Well, I’ve spent so much time in bed over the last few days that my backache is now almost as troublesome as the bug.

Ugh.

So I have no idea whether I’ll be at work tomorrow.

***

I did make use of my time today and watch Kinsey, starring Liam Neeson. It was quite a good flick, very enlightening. Not quite great, seeing as how the major plot points were predictable. But the subject matter was so doggone interesting, and Neeson was great.

Recommended for sure. But make sure the kids are in bed first.

***

A scene from THEBOY’S birthday party sometime back, as I dialed the pizza place:

Me: “Hi, I’d like to order your largest pepperoni pizza.”

Woman with thick NY accent: “Okay, you gonna pick it up?”

Me: “No, I’d like it delivered.”

Woman: “Hang on.” (Puts phone down) “Hey, you feel like delivering a pizza?”

(Voice mumbles a response)

Woman: “Where do you live?”

Me: “Uh, in the neighborhood right behind your shop. It’s about a half a mile I guess.”

Woman: (Puts phone down) “He SAYS it’s only a half a mile away.”

(Voice mumbles a response)

Woman: “Yeah, okay.”

***

Keep in mind that the sign out front saying that they deliver. I guess it depends upon the whim of the delivery guy.

He had a tattoo on his arm that read, “Queens.” I’ll bet Hurst feels like Mars to him sometimes.

***

The doc today was stunned at my weight loss. He actually gasped. He pointed out that I’d weighed in at 182 last July during a visit. I assured him it was intentional, and he said, “Okay… man, you scared me.”

***

Looks like the spring training trip is on again this year. Hood and BB, soaking in all the baseball we can over three days in Phoenix. We mean to start off in Tucson, actually, to see some Rangers/ChiSox action. I’ve gotta get busy trying to score those tickets.

***

Local media are reporting that Tom Hicks has sent a letter (a letter? Does anyone really send letters anymore?) to Roger Clemens' agent Alan Hendricks in order to make a case for the Rangers in case the mercurial Clemens decides to pitch again this season.

I’d certainly like a staff consisting of Clemens, Millwood, Padilla, Eaton and… Dominguez? Kam Loe?

***

Ya’ll have a good Tuesday. Heck, I hope I have one too.