The Real Family Circus

Bill Keane might actually have an entertaining comic strip on his hands if he could write about the things that really go on.

***

We had supper last night at a barbecue joint, the Railhead. THEBOY and I took a bathroom break. He headed for the short urinal (you know the one I'm talking about, fellows) and started doing his business.

A man came in and began to use the one next to him. THEBOY is a pretty chatty guy, but he went quiet as he turned his head. I suddenly realized that:

He was eye level with the stranger's privates.

He was about to make some sort of comment.

I grabbed his head, pointed it forward and barked, "OKAYIT'STIMETOFLUSH!"

Crisis averted. No idea what the boy was about to say, but I really didn't want to be in a conversation with this stranger about anything like that.

***

After lunch today, I was carrying the baby into the living room when I got a whiff of something.

"Uh oh, Kelli. We've got a Code Brown here." I hauled her off to the changing table in the bathroom.

I started to change her and discovered that it was a false alarm.

"Musta been one hell of a poot," I said out loud, not realizing THEBOY had walked into the bathroom behind me.

Ack... I paused and looked at him. He got a big grin on his face.

"Ha ha ha ha! You said, 'Poot'!"

***

Happy Easter