"This was no boto accident..."

A guy's gotta have ambitions.

I hope to someday meet Tom Cruise and tell him I loved him in that movie Bartender.

I hope to someday meet Oprah Winfrey and insist on calling her "Okra."

I hope to buy some land in downtown Minneapolis, pave it over and call it "Paisley Parking Lot."

***

Been kinda crazy around here today, and all for a 70s era movie called Las Vegas Lady that my station has to edit for content. The guy who just Monday won the company's Chairman's Award (which is a fistful of cash) has blown us off for hours when we needed his help. Ugly phone calls are being made, managers are being copied on emails...

(Pause while narrator stands up, scratches his belly, dances around in a circle to Roger Manning's "Creeple People" and sits back down)

...and I don't care!

***

The shrink has officially dismissed me. I had nothing to talk about today, and threatened to spend the whole time telling dirty jokes.

I wish she'd have unstrapped my straight jacket first though. It was really hard to eat my lunch from the Roly Poly like that.

***

I was driving through the West End today and saw a white guy with dreadlocks. I rolled down the window and yelled "Rastafari!" at him. He either didn't hear me or he ignored me.

***

Was that bad of me? I should be more mature, right? Remind me to work on that.

***

THEBOY told me this morning I had a "boto" on my beard. I asked him to repeat that, and he said the word "boto" again.

I find that odd since, from hanging around Hawaiian-born Erik Hood, I've learned that "boto" is their slang for "penis."

I asked THEBOY what it was, and he said, "Uh... it's a... boat."

I feel like I'm the subject of some sort of joke I'm not privy to...

***

Not working Friday. Well, not for Belo anyway. Tons to do around the house, stuff that falls under the heading of "at least I'm not at the office!"

***

I love Helmet, but not like this guy.

***

Bye.