December's Child

This is when parenting is a challenge.

It’s the beginning of the school year, as you know. At Primrose daycare, kids are being moved up all over the place.

THEBOY is a December baby, and not long ago we had to decide what to do when this time came around. Move him into private kindergarten early? Hold him back?

We solicited the advice of his teachers, the owner of the school, and smart folks around us. We got good information, and we thought we’d made a tough-but-fair decision: Keep him where he’s been.

Scholastically, he’s ready, but being a little younger than his classmates, we thought he’d benefit by staying put and getting a chance to be an older kid in class for once. He knows the ropes, would presumably be comfortable, etc. With a smart, conscientious kid like him we thought it’d give him a chance to shine.

Only I picked him up from daycare yesterday to discover that he’s the ONLY kid not promoted. He'd walked in to find a roomful of kids he thought were three-year-olds. In fact, for a while he assumed the other kids had gone on a field trip without him.

Hoo boy.

We had no idea he’d have the rug completely pulled out from under him. Guess we should have considered that. He spent the drive home and some of the evening crying, asking for his friends, telling us he loves them.

IT

WAS

GUT-WRENCHING.

***

I got the impression that at some point Kelli said she’d get him moved, but she says she never promised him that. I hope not. As the evening wore on, I became more and more concerned that moving could not occur (and still wondered if it was the right thing to do). Kelli became less and less concerned, certain he’d be moved.

Okay.

***

It sucks to be right sometimes.

***

They COULD move him, if they ordered a new curriculum. Not the end of the world, but apparently the school wasn’t keen on the idea since we hope to move soon and THEBOY is likely going to be gone from the school soon anyway.

***

So he’s relegated to the old classroom, though he’s been given some de facto “teacher’s assistant” chores as a measure to build self-esteem. He’s good with the computer, so he gets to show the new kids how to use it.

***

The idea of him having to go back in there this morning has been bothering me a hell of a lot.

Yes, kids are resilient. No it’s not the end of the world. But it really leaves me at a loss to try and explain this to THEBOY when he’s almost certainly crying again tonight. It’s a helpless feeling.

***

I still think that, broadly, keeping him in there is the right thing to do. I just wish that doing so hadn’t isolated him like this.