what Kelli’s ex-coworker’s hairdresser’s partner said

The partners went to the grocery store for a quick trip, though the hairdresser opted to wait in the car.

Walking out of the store was an obese black woman. He noticed that she had a strange gait, and he thought perhaps it was due to her size.

In a moment, though, she stopped, and from between her legs dropped a ham.

She looked around and barked, “Hey, who’s throwin’ hams around here?”

***

The hairdresser did say something along the lines of “Uh uh honey!” to her, but I don’t think she was overcome with guilt and compelled to return the ham. And frankly, once she’d walked any distance with the ham between her legs, well, I can say with certainty that I think it's best that the pork product in question didn’t end up for public sale again.

***

It’s looking more and more like we are not moving to Corsicana in the foreseeable future. For us to pull this off, a number of events had to fall into place within a certain time. That is, we needed to get our crap together (or mostly together) before school started. We’ve worked all summer on this, and in mid-August we’ve suddenly lost the contract on the house we wanted.

Other big changes will come, though, as I cannot support the family and keep the kids at Primrose for long. We’re working on it.

***

The greatest moment from the weekend, I think, was today at Cici’s Pizza (hey, one not far from here is actually decent). THEBOY started playing this snowmobile racing game. I sat behind him and fed quarters into it. From the first moments of the race, when he squeezed the throttle all the way and careened insanely into trees, walls, gates, giant spiders, ghosts and other racers, we HOWLED with laughter! He was operating it on his own, and as I yelled at him (“Left! Right! Cliff! Fence!”) we both laughed uncontrollably. For some reason none of his crashes killed him, which is always handy, and in fact, he came in third!

It’s been a while since I last laughed that hard.

***

I spoke to my grandmother tonight for the first time in way too long. She’s in Ponchatoula, Louisiana. Just turned 84, and apparently just cannot be stopped by the likes of the arthritis and occasional stroke. Never sounds down, always glad to talk. That’s my Babbi!