Ganked from Nadine:
1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
Wait... what? Did I owe the CD rent money or something?
2. Have you ever puked at a bar or club?
I've puked in the grass outside some clubs before even walking in. That's what the term "nightclub jitters" means to me.
3. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
My wife is three years older than I, and that's it. Now... when I was 18 a 40-year-old married woman set her sights on me. Fool, er, wise young man that I was, I passed.
4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?:
No no no. I've been with the same woman since 1991. Our relationship pre-dates "online."
5. Have you ever smoked pot at a concert?
No
6. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker?
No, but when I was the stockboy at Wieners (you read right) I had a massive, not-the-least-bit-hidden flirtation with a coworker. Ah, Veronica Garcia... she was a beauty. Wouldn't go out with me since I had a girlfriend and all.
7. If so, how did that turn out?
Darn Veronica and her scruples. Nothing happened.
8. Ever been involved in a hit & run?
What the hell kind of question is this? Should I look for a later question asking where the body is? Cripes. And NO, I have not.
9. Were you popular in high school?
You know, I had a rather modest level of popularity. I was known through journalism, and I had a fair number of friends. Now, plenty of folks hated my guts for the
reviews I wrote, but really, I remember those times pretty fondly.
10. Have you ever been on a blind date?
No, but once I asked a girl to act out a scene from The Miracle Worker naked.
11. Are looks important?
On the one hand, YES. I'm a guy; we're visually stimulated. If you don't get my attention with looks, there's nothing to proceed with. On the other, a very wise man named Doug Briscoe taught me that beauty comes in lots of forms. I never made the mistake of getting wrapped up in the blonde-haired generic beauties who look like they all came out of a Pretty Girl Machine. So let's just say that the opposite sex
is a rather colorful and varied palette to me.
12. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 15 years or more?
Yes
13. By what age would you like to be married?
I have been married since 1993.
14. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
Whoa whoa WHOA. Yes. Especially since it's almost always more than me. Teach me, Obi Wan Kenobi.
15. Have you ever sacrificed yourself so your friend can get in good with a person of the opposite sex?
Sacrificed myself? What the heck does that mean? Take a meat cleaver to my pinky and offer it to some Egyptian deity? Um, I guess the answer is no.
16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
Tricky question right in the middle of all this dating stuff. You're a sly one, magical mystery interviewer. And the answer is HELL NO.
17. Have you ever dated/messed around with a friend’s ex?
No
18. Ever mess around with a married person?
Yes! My wife!
19. Are you a good tipper?
Yeah
20. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
Uh... $20 maybe? I don't have that much hair.
21. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yep. Not currently though. Dr Crook's a brilliant man, but he just doesn't do it for me like that.
22. Do you know all the words to the first verse of
Ice Ice Baby?
No. Do YOU know any words at all to any Albert "The Iceman" Collins songs? HMM? I do. Try me.
23. Have you ever had crispy bangs?
I don't know what this is. Is it... a doughnut? Oh, wait... this is when you're 15 and trying to be cool by lighting a cigarette on an oven burner while the cig is still IN YOUR MOUTH and you lean over and the flames give you crispy bangs. Right? So yes.
24. What was the worst style of the 80’s?
Mullet. Which I invented.
25. Have you ever peed in public?
I'm a guy. It's a requirement.
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5 comments:
1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
This is without doubt the most puzzling question I've ever seen on one of these.
2. Have you ever puked at a bar or club?
No, but I've blown chunks behind an Eckerd Drugs.
3. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
My ex-wife is two years older than me.
4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?:
Nope. Not sure I'm willing to try.
5. Have you ever smoked pot at a concert?
No. I've never smoked pot anywhere.
6. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker?
Yes.
7. If so, how did that turn out?
It was a (mostly) blissful couple of months or so. Ended peacefully but inevitably. Long story that's interesting only to me.
8. Ever been involved in a hit & run?
Not as the instigator, though my ex-wife was hit across the street from my work by a student who zoomed away immediately. She's held a grudge against the state of Indiana ever since.
9. Were you popular in high school?
Not even remotely.
10. Have you ever been on a blind date?
No.
11. Are looks important?
I'd like to say no, but, let's face it, they are. They're what get someone's attention. Either you look at someone and think, "Wow, he/she/it's cute - I wouldn't mind having a conversation with that person" or you think, "Holy crap, he/she/it looks like a total dork. Run away!" Fortunately, everybody is physically appealing to somebody, and it's what's behind the looks that will keep people in your orbit.
12. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 15 years or more?
Not very many, but yes.
13. By what age would you like to be married?
I seriously doubt I'll get married again.
14. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
Depends on when she's doing the sleeping. If it's while she and I are still involved, HELL YES.
15. Have you ever sacrificed yourself so your friend can get in good with a person of the opposite sex?
I wanted to make a joke here, but the truth of the matter is: yes. Back in early high school, a friend and I were both in love with the same woman (with whom we'd become friends), and, due to my low self-esteem at the time, I decided that I had no chance (I had indications later on that that wasn't true) and took myself out of the running. The two of them did indeed date for a while.
16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
Drank, no. Used in cereal or cooking, yes.
17. Have you ever dated/messed around with a friend’s ex?
Yes. Both times with encouragement by, indeed, at the suggestion of, the friend.
18. Ever mess around with a married person?
No comment.
19. Are you a good tipper?
Most of the time, yes. Depends on the service, though it takes truly terrible service (i.e. being deliberately ignored) to get a bad tip.
20. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
I spend $35 every time. Jene is worth it.
21. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Hmmm...not that I can recall. Though I remember thinking my 7th grade art teacher was pretty hot. If not particularly bright.
22. Do you know all the words to the first verse of
Ice Ice Baby?
Don't you mean "Under Pressure"?
23. Have you ever had crispy bangs?
I think it's best that I never find out what the hell crispy bangs are.
24. What was the worst style of the 80’s?
Blue eyeshadow. Those weird poofy hair styles women (and later metal bands) wore. Neon colored clothing. Pick one.
25. Have you ever peed in public?
Define in public. I've peed behind trees and in ditches like anybody else. But never where anybody else could see.
Michael
1. Have you ever licked the back of a CD to try to get it to work?
I've never even heard of such a thing. Sheesh.
2. Have you ever puked at a bar or club?
No, but I've thrown chow in the middle of a track meet. Toughest race I ever ran.
3. What’s the largest age difference between yourself and someone you’ve dated?
My wife is two years younger than me.
4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?:
Nope.
5. Have you ever smoked pot at a concert?
No. I've never smoked pot anywhere. I like my IQ where it is.
6. Have you ever dated/fooled around with a coworker?
Nope.
7. If so, how did that turn out?
n/a
8. Ever been involved in a hit & run?
No.
9. Were you popular in high school?
In some circles, yes.
10. Have you ever been on a blind date?
Nope.
11. Are looks important?
Sure. Not just the beauty factor, but the whole aura of a person attracts me or pushes me away. Facial expressions, grace of movement (or lack thereof), body language... all play a huge part.
12. Do you have any friends that you’ve known for 15 years or more?
Yep.
13. By what age would you like to be married?
Married at 23 and at 29.
14. Does the number of people a person’s slept with affect your view of them?
Yep.
15. Have you ever sacrificed yourself so your friend can get in good with a person of the opposite sex?
Not really. There was one time in high school that might qualify, but that's a long, extremely stupid story.
16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
No. Not much of a milk drinker.
17. Have you ever dated/messed around with a friend’s ex?
Nope.
18. Ever mess around with a married person?
Just my wife.
19. Are you a good tipper?
Yes. However, I will complain immediately to the manager about bad service.
20. What’s the most you have spent for a haircut?
$25.
21. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
Yup. Mrs. Coleman, 6th grade.
22. Do you know all the words to the first verse of
Ice Ice Baby?
Unfortunately, yes.
23. Have you ever had crispy bangs?
No. I'm a guy.
24. What was the worst style of the 80’s?
I never liked the whole checkerboard (Vans) thing.
25. Have you ever peed in public?
In the middle of the street, no. Behind a tree or open car door, yes.
16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
Not without making my spouse taste test it first.
A.
4. Have you ever dated someone you met online?: Dated, no. Married, yes. And we've had (so far) 6 years of wedded bliss...
Bruiser
23. Have you ever had crispy bangs?
I think this is for the women. Crispy bangs are when you leave your bangs in the curling iron for too long. At least that's what I think it is.
16. Have you ever drank milk that was past the expiration date?
And like I tell Brian, the expiration date is the "sell by" date, not the "imbibe by" date. You can drink it a few days after that. But Brian ignores me on this point.
Kelli
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