when an addict is truly alone

34 and rainy. I can't run in this crap.

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It's 100% Monday. At least I'm off.

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Got the kids to daycare. One had a suspicious diaper and one had a surly attitude and said his throat's sore. I hope they'll make it through the day.

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Temptation is funny business, eh? I mean, it's a challenge for most of us. Put something you want in front of you and most any person will at least give it a fleeting thought: Could I?

Maybe you'd succumb fully, prepared to deal with whatever the fallout is. Use your imagination. Or maybe you'd just try it on for a little while. See if the idea fits. Revel in being bad, in giving in. Is being bad more fun than being good?

I think an argument could be made that giving up drugs or alcohol is only the second best thing an addict can do. Getting clean/sober doesn't occur in a vacuum. Though no one can MAKE you do it, other people can and do factor in.

"I want to save my marriage (career, health, etc.)"

"I want to live to be with my family."

That kind of thing.

But isn't resisting temptation the greatest thing an addict can do? Having cleaned up, taken a big step, made an honest attempt at a better life, isn't it more amazing to face temptation and walk away?

That's when an addict is truly alone. If temptation came along and you found yourself courting this thing, this urge to screw up, that's when true strength of character shows.

If you have been addicted to something and you clean up, your friends and family are there to support you, send their love, pat you on the back.

If you spent some time on the verge of relapse and resisted successfully, it's all you. No prizes are given out because you thought seriously about getting loaded but didn't. You could tell a friend or spouse that hey, you were gripped by temptation yesterday but walked away. You might get words of encouragement, or you might get chastised for allowing yourself to consider it.

Perhaps this is the real value in a group like AA. Confessing what's happened--or nearly happened--in a roomful of people who share this problem. Successfully battling temptation all occurs in one's head, but there are folks who would understand after the fact.

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I suppose there would also be terrific value in attending a meeting while in the throes of temptation.

Jeez, this is starting to make sense to me for the first time.

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If you read all that, thanks for bearing with me. I'll resume fart jokes and coffee criticism shortly.